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Oldest Battery

If you stick one end of a piece of wire into a potato, and the other end into a light bulb, you will notice that nothing at all happens.
This is because you are trying to get electricity out of a potato, you idiot.

Other popular vegetables containing no electricity include cabbages, sprouts and all vegetables.

"But I've seen clocks powered by potatoes", you cry. "How did that work?".

The answer is 'by trickery'. Before the demonstration, a normal household battery is hidden up the magician's sleeve! By means of special conductive fibers in his clothing, it is the battery that provides the clock with power.
The potato is simply a diversion! Search your pockets afterwards, and you will discover your wallet and mobile phone have mysteriously vanished!

Batteries product electricity since, unlike most vegetables, they contain a load of acid.
Acid + Time = Electricity!

The first person to realise this was George Washington, who later invented America! His battery, created in 1830, was known as 'The Liberty Battery' and constructed from a copper chamberpot into which he poured some lemon juice.
It was used to power his wig dryer.

At 189 years old, 'The Liberty Battery' is therefore the oldest battery' - and although it no longer works (due to time), you can still visit it by going to America and looking around gormlessly.

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