When Nazi scientists invented the telephone in 1942, they designed within it a small barrel of wasps that would rotate when an incoming call was detected, causing the wasps to become irate and buzz loudly.

Unfortunately, the idea backfired, and Hitler got stung in the mouth. Historians believe that this is what caused the Second World War!

Of course, you couldn't use wasps in this way today - it would be against the wasps' human rights! All modern telephone ringing sounds are generated electronically, by a tiny computer known as a 'microchip'.
To find your phone's microchip, simply smash it to pieces with a hammer!

A potentially infinite number of different rings can be created by a microchip, no matter how awful the resulting tone might be.
If only some manner of filter had been built into the chip, the most irritating phone ringtone - that lobster character from Futurama going 'wibble wibble wibble wibble wibble' - might not exist.