What do a cauliflower, a lettuce and a cabbage all have in common?
The answer is much, because they are all vegetable siblings. A cauliflower is simply a deformed cabbage, and a lettuce is a cabbage that has become flaccid. That's the wonder of nature!

Cabbage can be used to make many meals, all unbearably foul: bubble and squeak, cabbage sandwich and raw cabbage to name but three.

However, cabbages do have one useful purpose - creating sound effects. Simply stab a cabbage with a knife, and it will sound exactly like a cabbage being stabbed with a knife!
What use is such an effect? Why, it's the same sound effect that is played whenever Captain Picard sits down in Star Trek!

But you wouldn't be able to create that sound effect using the heaviest cabbage - not even if you were Mike Stabber! For it is denser than several planets!
The heaviest cabbage weighs five stone and can be seen somewhere in Norwich, UK.