I don't understand exactly how vegetables grow - I'm not Geoff Hamilton - but I believe the process is somewhat similar to that of microwaving an egg.

You put the egg (vegetable seed) in the microwave (in a hole), turn the microwave on (water the vegetable seed) and a year (30 seconds) later the egg (vegetable) is grown (cooked), and you can dig it up (open the microwave door), cook it (eat the egg) and eat the vegetable (watch Top Gear).

But unlike microwaving an egg, growing a vegetable can often result in bizarre shapes and forms, thanks to the unknowable magic of mother nature!

For example, I once saw a potato that looked exactly like a disabled person! It was being pushed around in a wheelchair in Primark.
But that wasn't the rudest vegetable. That wasn't even close!

The rudest vegetable is a Yam with a mould pattern resembling Nigella Lawson shitting into a Yorkshire Pudding!

WOW!