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Most Expensive Champagne

If you are a member of a royal family, or J.K. Rowling, perhaps you will have tasted a drink known as champagne.
Champagne is a bit like the wine that they sell in my local newsagents, except with fewer intimidating local youths punching me.

If you've ever wanted to make your own champagne, tough. It is extremely illegal to make your own Champagne unless you happen to live in Champagne... not the liquid, but a city in Belgium!
But thanks to the lawless nature of the internet, I am able to publish the recipe.
And here it is:

1) Buy some grapes from ASDA,

2) Stand on the grapes and jump into the air,

3) Slip over,

4) Wake up several hours later, covered in your own filth,

5) Sell the champagne to local youths.

I expect this is exactly the same recipe that the Belgian champagne masters use to create the most expensive champagne, 'Krug, Clos du Mesnil'. One bottle costs a wallet-exploding 62.99!


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