Random WOW: ' Greatest Shar-Pei Escape Artist '

Longest Carpet of Flowers

Laminate flooring. Vinyl flooring. Tile flooring. What do all these flooring types have in common? Yes - they're all made out of atoms!
I have, of course, made one obvious omission in my comprehensive flooring listing. Can you guess which one? It's the dirty, hairy type that I, and most of the English speaking World like to call carpet!

Carpet was invented by the famous Russian philosopher Pavel Florensky, who was wandering around Russia one day, thinking about gin, when he slipped over and somehow stepped on his own beard.
"This is very soft on my feet", thought Florensky, and immediately rushed to his nearest hardware store to purchase some gin.

I don't know exactly how carpet is made, but I suspect it is grown in some sort of super-secret genetics lab, and that it is a very exciting process indeed.
But there is no excitement involved when it comes to the worst type of carpet: the carpet of flowers. A carpet of flowers is simply a load of stinking flowers that have been dumped on the floor.

The longest carpet of flowers was created by an old man in Brighton in 2003, when he lost control of his mobility scooter and drove it straight into a flower shop display. The resulting carnage was several metres in length.


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